“There’s even a Jewgle!”

Sky Samuelson laughed loudly as he announced this. We were all laughing and having fun long after dessert was finished. Sky is a good friend of Larkin’s best friend. He’s also a good kid, and a spiritually impressive one. At twelve, after years of a Unitarian upbringing, he announced that he didn’t feel God around him and that he wanted to return to his paternal Jewish roots. An otherwise typical teenager gets himself into Hebrew School and studies and prepares and merits a Bar Mitzvah by his fourteenth birthday. Wow! We bought a cake with which to celebrate his achievement and couldn’t wait to have him, his family and our mutual friends over for dinner.

“I wanted to go in the direction of my family,” Sky explained. This actually explains a lot about Judaism, as it is an ethnicity as much as it is a religion. The two are intimately intertwined. The more we talked about what it means to be Jewish, it became apparent that Sky and his dad and Jews in general aren’t so caught up in parsing particular “meanings” or distinctions between the various movements within Judaism so much as they are invested so deeply in the tribal fact of being Jewish.

When we visited with Rabbi Blumofe of Congregation Agudas Achim, Kyrie asked him what percentage of Jews were Reform or Conservative or Orthodox. He replied, “I don’t know. I do know that we are all linked together – we share common prayers, common thoughts, and common ideas – and that the point is not the denomination so much as being out there, being engaged together and helping people out.” Kyrie exclaimed, “That’s a really good answer!”

Rabbi Blumofe is a Conservative Jew, and Sky’s family is Reform. Yet, over and over again, what we heard from both of them spoke much more of common ground than of any kind of conflict. And, again and again, we heard laughing. Sky’s family is a riot of warmth and good-natured jesting. Sky described the Talmud as a long historical record of a bunch of rabbis sitting around arguing. I mentioned the new term “Burger King spirituality” to Rabbi Blumofe, explaining that it referenced the modern – and, for many spiritual traditionalists, controversial – phenomenon of so many people picking and choosing different parts of different religions and creating a personal spiritual amalgamation, thus “having it their way.” I quickly asserted that I am really loving this. “Then you’re a McDonald’s spiritualist!”

Last night, I googled “Jewgle.” A charming Google-esque splash page opened up complete with a search bar along with two buttons, “Jewgle Search” and “I’m Feeling Holy,” so I typed in mitzvah in hopes of finding an interesting new link. Instead, I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. Here are the links that appeared:

Did you mean: Oy, I need a nosh

Find a nice, Jewish person
You mother worries about you – she just wants you to be happy, and she really does know what’s best for you. You can search for mitzvah later…
http://www.jdate.com – 36k

Call you mother instead of searching the internet for mitzvah
These newfangled VOIP services make it so cheap, and she really hasn’t heard from you in a while. Would it kill you to pick up the phone and give your mother a call?…
http://www.viatalk.com – 18k

He’Brew, The Chosen Beer
Way more fun than mitzvah – delicious beer and delicious schtick. L’Chaim!…
http://www.schamltz.com – 1818k

You’re too thin. Eat something.
Soups, smoked fish, bagels – all strictly kosher…
http://www.bloomsdeli.com – 54k until 120k

After I recovered from so much giggling, I clicked the Torah tab alongside the Web tab. All that popped up was:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The rest is commentary.
But still, if you want to read the whole thing, go forth and study!

That underlined link led to an Amazon page for the Torah. In and amongst all the laughing and celebration in Judaism is the constant exhortation to do good, mitzvah, and to be good to others. After a lot of research, this is the only really Jewish dogma I can find. I find this quite refreshing.